#he's so unserious lmao

[vix2section]

(x)

[harris-coopers]

"I love going up to everybody in public and saying holy shit are you the kid from tik tok?"

[valekim]

▶ Tsuiraku JK to Haijin Kyoushi - ep. 7 “Is there anything you want?" "A family."

[lotus-pear]

the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical

[steddiehyperfixation]

with blonde hair and a tan

steddie brainworms so bad i wrote this silly little thing immediately after watching the rocky horror picture show for the first time the other night lol @steddie-spooktober day 30: "where in the hell did you find that costume?" | 1083 words | T |

Eddie can hear Steve and Robin squabbling as he makes his way up the stairs to Steve's room. 

“I just don't know about this, Rob.” 

“It was your idea!” 

“It's too much. I should wear something else.” 

“Little late for that now.” 

“Well-”

“Where in the hell did you find that costume?” Eddie stops in the doorway, frozen in a state of shock at the scene in front of him. His mouth hangs open, eyes wide, and a sudden heat rises in his cheeks. 

Because Steve is standing in front of his mirror wearing only a tiny metallic gold speedo and matching gold boots, his great expanse of tanned skin and muscles and body hair on full display. Robin stands next to him with a spray can of wash out bleach-blonde hair dye at the ready. 

Steve looks over at Eddie. “It's too much, isn't it? I knew it. I told you,” he says to Robin, gesturing at Eddie as if his reaction proves his point. “Look at his face, even he's embarrassed for me.” 

Robin snorts. “Yeah, I don't think that's why he's blushing, Steve-o.” 

“No one’s even gonna know who I am,” Steve continues to complain, thankfully ignoring Robin’s comment. 

“Rocky,” Eddie says. His voice comes out weird and cracked; he clears his throat. “You're Rocky, from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” 

“See?” Now it's Robin’s turn to gesture towards Eddie in vindication. “Totally recognizable. Totally good. It's just one party, and you've got all that unwarranted jock confidence, you'll be fine.” She pats Steve on the shoulder, then turns and tosses the spray dye at Eddie. “Here. You can take over spraying his hair. I have to finish getting myself ready.” 

Eddie fumbles trying to catch the spray can, his attempt to stammer out a protest falling on deaf ears as Robin pushes past him out of the room. “Okay.” He sighs. This is fine. He can totally handle being left alone with this literal golden adonis without getting heart palpitations. He can be cool and chill and normal. He can. 

Steve looks amused. “You don't have to. I can probably manage spraying my own hair just fine,” he says when Eddie still hasn't moved. 

“No, I got it.” Eddie shakes his head, shaking himself into motion. “You won't be able to get the back right on your own anyways.” He approaches Steve - with great restraint, he might add, because there's a part of his brain that's all animal right now and it's just raring to pounce on him. “So are you done trying to talk yourself out of this costume, then?” 

Steve chews at his lip as he studies his reflection again. “I think so,” he decides. His gaze flicks up to meet Eddie's eyes in the mirror. “You really don't think it's too much?” 

Eddie breaks the mirror eye contact before his face can turn any more red, fixing his focus singularly on starting to spray the blonde dye onto Steve's hair. “No, you uh, you look good. You really should've warned me- told me, I mean, what you were gonna be. I would've matched your theme, could've gone as Dr. Frank N Furter.” (His current costume in comparison is quite boring, just a basic vampire - albeit with some pretty impressive fake blood around his mouth if he does say so himself, but ultimately nothing special.)

“Now that would be something,” Steve mutters, the words a little breathier all of the sudden, but Eddie still doesn't dare let his glance wander from his hair. His voice is back to normal in a second anyway. “Well, there's always next year.” 

“Yeah, next year,” Eddie echoes. That really would be something, both of them in flamboyantly skimpy costumes. He's not sure if that would make this situation better or worse for him. 

He pushes up some of Steve's hair to make sure he's covered all the layers in the back, his fingers accidentally brushing along the skin of his neck, and Steve shivers. Eddie finds himself watching with an odd satisfaction as the goosebumps ripple up in the wake of his touch. 

“I think I might freeze to death like this, though,” Steve comments with a self-deprecating chuckle that just barely conceals that weird breathiness that's returned to his voice. “I probably should've considered that before I decided to go out half naked at night in the middle of fall.” 

“I bet you could easily find someone to keep you warm tonight,” Eddie tells him, forcing detachment. He locks his attention back on his hair dyeing work. “You walk in there looking like this and you'll have all the girls at the party falling at your feet. Probably even some of the guys too,” he adds, remembering Steve recently came out as bisexual. 

“Yeah?” Steve sounds like he's smiling, or maybe smirking. He tries (unsuccessfully) to catch Eddie's eyes again as Eddie moves in front of him to get to the last few pieces of hair. “And what about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“Would you be one of them?” 

Eddie finishes with the hairspray, nothing left to keep using as an excuse to avoid his attention. He finally looks at Steve's face and raises an eyebrow, deflecting. “You want me to fall at your feet, Harrington?” 

Steve shakes his head almost imperceptibly. He glances down for a moment, then looks back up at him from under his lashes and takes a step closer. “I want you to keep me warm,” he clarifies in a murmur as he reaches for Eddie's free hand and guides it to hold his waist. Eddie's blood ignites at the touch and the look Steve's giving him, flames racing along his veins. 

That's as good an invitation as any, and Eddie's restraint shatters. He draws Steve hungrily to his lips. How could he not? The spray can falls from his grip in favor of using both hands to pull Steve closer and roam his body. And if Eddie's wandering hands linger for a while in their investigation of that perfect gold-clad ass, well that's between them and the lovely little sound Steve makes against his open mouth. 

And Robin, who has the misfortune of poking her head back into the room right then. 

She yelps and jumps out of view of the scene, banging her fist against the wall just next to the doorway to get their attention instead. “When you guys are done being gross,” she shouts, “there's a party we're gonna be late for!” 

[thenationofzaun]

Jinx about Vander's letter: If only Silco read this🥺 everything could have been different😭 they could have reunited and fixed their relationship😫 what could have been💔😪

Silco if he read that bullshit:

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

it's absurd to me how effective the Finch app is (not sponsored, obviously). like, will i take care of me? for my own sake? heavens no. i shall wallow instead 💅

but for him? for this bird-themed assortment of pixels i got to name, gender, and customize into my son??? will i do little self-care tasks to check off so i can buy my bird-child outfits, furniture, feather/beak dyes, micro-pets; and give him the energy to go out on adventures so he can experience new things (like discovering he does not like The Three Little Pigs story) and develop a personality reactive to said experiences???? must i gamify my own needs and goals into fake money to provide for him?

yes. apparently, yes, i will stop wallowing and start taking care of myself— not for my own sake— but for my bird-son. and i am not going to shame myself for it, because nothing else has worked. and if having a self-care tamagotchi-neopet gets the job done? so be it. the brain works in mysterious ways

and if you think "hmm, maybe this will awaken something within me" now that you know this app exists? then this joke-post at my own expense will have been worth it lol (also, the app is free, though they do have a paid version that gives you extra goodies)

Finch app: [ android link ] ♡ [ iphone link ]

[forcebookish]

If you don't answer, I'll take that as a yes.

[persephoneflouwers]

Wait i dont get the english breakfast thing sorry

Oh angel, that’s a super secret code meant to unlock even the gelid hearts of people like me.

English Colazione ♥️♥️

Or maybe he meant he’s having his English husband for breakfast. I don’t know, ask Louis 😭

——

Edit (only to have all the complete compilation in a single post):

Harry has a “colazione” (breakfast in Italian) tattoo on his thigh. @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk ‘s post described it after the AIW BTS.

Here’s Harry fonding because Louis mentions missing English Breakfast on tour. (Thanks @louansue for the gif addition! I’ll search for the video when I get home)

And this is Louis in 2023 :) curious how his having the first English breakfast of his US leg coincidentally when Harry’s tour ended just 6 days ago.

Very funny, very coincidental.

I swear, these two!

[kinard-evan]

He probably saw some bubbles….

[gojoest]

when you keep ignoring satoru’s attempts to confess to you (he’s your childhood friend), thinking it’s just another scheme of his to pull your leg and get on your nerves as he’s always done one way or another throughout the years, he goes and asks your parents if he can be your boyfriend

[gunsatthaphan]

"keep me in mind though."

[sarcophagid]

my super real comic that exists

[greyfingers]

I know people have kinda moved on from the longlegs gender topic but the heated discourse surrounding Dale's gender was always so incredibly interesting and funny to me. Like the initial criticism that he was offensive to trans women, trans women saying "we don't claim him" and calling him an ugly cis man (amazing + hilarious btw), osgood perkins wholeheartedly rejecting the whole trans idea in his AMA and then nicolas cage saying in an interview that he literally sees Dale as genderless like....

all so hysterical to watch. because as an actual agender person!! who is v sick of all our representation in media being aliens and robots, Dale's lack of gender was so incredibly obvious to me from the very start even with he/him pronouns n everyone referring to him as a man lmao. and yeah sorry I will absolutely claim him as representation if no one else will HAHA I rlly don't care that he's an ugly gross satanic murderer who lives in a basement. he's interesting and funny. one of us.

[moonkhao]

#he's just like me fr

[cyellolemon]

Hiii second compilation of Detective Conan shitposts!! :3